She Wonders If I Am the Sun
by wewerefedtodeath
Summary: Seth hides away with Bella after everything with the newborn battle doesn't go as planned. They're on the run, but then they go back.
1. Chapter 1: The Sun Has Come

**I had a plot for a Seth/Bella story for a while now. It was an imprint story where Seth imprints on Bella. That story has change into whatever this is. So technically I kinda sorta have a plot****. And that kinda sorta just a general direction to where this might be going. So I don't know how long this will be. My school work is pretty heavy this semester so I don't know when I'll update.**

**Twilight isn't mine!**

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><p><strong>The Sun Has Come<strong>

"I think it's time to go home," She says.

He looks at her and lets out a sigh.

He's been waiting for this.

There were times when he wanted to do exactly that. But couldn't.

But it's been a couple of years now and he no longer feels he needs to go home.

He no longer wants to go home.

He's found that with her. It's a good life.

She doesn't know it, because he hides it well.

He wants to know. Why now?

He looks at her until she faces him. When they're honest with each other their conversations are always made with eye contact.

He's found that it's in her eyes where the truth in her answers lie. He tries to be as direct with her as much as possible, because he knows that Edward wasn't. Because he knows that to her so many weren't.

"Why now?"

"I…"

She looks down and away and he knows he's now waiting for a lie.

"…I really miss Charlie…"

He doesn't doubt she's telling a truth, but she's looking at the floor. And he doesn't buy that that's it.

"…and Jake…."

The mention of his pack mate makes him cringe. He wants to believe she has moved on from Jake _and_ from Edward. The thought that she hasn't stings.

She's still looking away, fingers fiddling with the frayed ends of her jean shorts.

Her nervousness makes her look younger, almost childlike in this rare form.

She's always professional and adult. So much so that he feels like she's rubbed off on him.

"…I-I just think it's t-time for us to go home," she stutters, "and you have an…an imprint…"Her eyes finally come up to meet his. It's her first truth.

He narrows his eyes slightly at the mention of an imprint.

He had told her four days ago that he had in fact imprinted. He hadn't given her many details because she hadn't seemed to want them. But she had looked confused and maybe hurt.

His imprinting wasn't important. She'd found out only because it came up in one of their conversations.

It's not like he hid it. It just never came up.

He was annoyed that she was making assumptions about him. He would have gladly given her all the answers. They were always direct with each other.

Feelings aside, he didn't really hide anything from her.

And she didn't keep things from him either.

But now she was. And it started four days ago.

He found it childish. And he found himself wondering when he'd become the more mature of the two.

His anger simmers beneath his dark-golden skin. He wants to shout that she is lying and demand the truth. He wants to tell her that the girl that he imprinted on is not the one that consumes his thoughts. And that the imprint is a crush compared to want he's feeling for the girl in front of him now.

Though he wants to, he's also sure that he would never yell at her for the answers that he wants.

"When do you want to go?" He asks instead.

Relief covers her face.

"Tomorrow, Seth. We should start tomorrow."

Relief is loud in her voice.

He turns away from her. Not because he wants to hide too. He just can't watch her shut him out.

"Okay Bella, tomorrow."

He knows that when their back in Washington she will be able to hide very well. Because at home there's Forks and La Push and there's Jake and the pack and there's the girl he imprinted on.

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><p><strong>AN: I have started two paragraphs of the next chapter. I know it's not much, but I hope to update soon.**


	2. Chapter 2: When the Sun Shines Again

**Here's chapter 2! I hope it's not too boring.**

**Twilight isn't mine!**

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><p><strong>When the Sun Shines Again<strong>

They leave the small town in Louisiana where they've been staying, in two days instead of one, because they had to pack.

Travelling with her isn't his favorite thing. People look at them and stare. Women at him and men at Bella. He wants to gouge out the eyes of every man he sees that looks at her like she's food in the Baton Rouge airport. He's always been protective of her, but now he's a little possessive too.

He's grown up nicely, but so has she. Now her girly body looks like that of a woman's and her pretty girl face has become more of a rare beauty all within the last four years. He can't really blame men from looking, because he looks too. She doesn't know she's really beautiful. That men see her as rare fruit fresh for picking.

If she were his, he'd make sure she knew. And maybe he'd gauge those men's eyes out. But she doesn't belong to anyone. And if she did he'd probably be the last on the list of potentials.

XXXX

On the flight she sleeps near the window with her head on his shoulder. Her hair is down and tickling his forearm. She's soft pressed up against him. And he soaks up all the contact between them he gets.

He's aware that she touches him less and less the closer they get to home. And he's aware that it'll most likely stop once they get to where they are going.

This shift in his relationship with her baffles him. He doesn't know exactly what spurred it, or how it developed. He knows that one day she seemed happier than he had ever seen before. And a big part of him had hoped that it was because of him. He'd even entertained the idea that she might feel for him how he does her.

But then she seemed more distracted. And then she asked about him imprinting someday.

Now they're on their way back home.

XXXX

The battle with the baby vamps had been going great. But Victoria showed up at Bella's campsite. Bella's scent had been masked, but Edward's hadn't been. Victoria had followed it to find Bella alone with him and a tent, and no Edward.

Her fiery red hair looked angry against the cold air and ivory snow.

He had been ready for a fight. His tan paws had danced in the white snow in anticipation.

Battle as a wolf had been decorated as glorious in the tribal legends. This was what the wolf fantasized about. But his exhilaration was short lived. She had another vampire with her.

It was Jacob who had ordered him to run, to get her out of there. Out of the state until it was safe. He had become Alpha within a split second.

Seth obeyed. He had to.

They were prepared for this.

So he ran with Bella.

When they reached the car hidden on the outskirts of Forks, Seth drove like mad to distance them from danger.

They'd learn later that Jacob had gotten to Victoria the minute they'd drove off, allowing them the time to escape.

They'd learn later the blonde vamp had gotten a hold of Jacob and Victoria got away. Edward had come to Jacob's rescue, but not before the vamp had nearly crushed Jacob to death.

They'd learn later that Jacob would heal fine. And he had become Alpha.

XXXX

They'd travelled south, wanting places where the sun shown the best and the brightest.

Seth slept as wolf in their motel rooms. And Bella stuck to his side like she'd known nothing else her entire life. For a while they were very vigilant of their surroundings. Almost to the point of paranoia.

They'd gotten a scare once driving through Eden, Idaho. They'd pulled over to sleep. In hindsight it wasn't the smartest thing to have done. But they hadn't had anything to worry about since Forks and exhaustion from running superseded commonsense.

Seth saw her before he smelled her.

"Stay in the car."

He jumped out of the car before Bella could realized what was going on.

The smell that hit him turned his stomach. To his super sensitive senses she smelled of rotting corpse and something terrible enough to burn his eyes.

His body vibrated the air like a jackhammer. He was distorting and couldn't keep track of himself as he tried to keep from phasing. It felt like he was misplacing himself and gaining it all back in split seconds.

She was a brown haired female. Her eyes were black and wild. She was hungry.

"Leave," his voice was commanding.

The growl that rolled forth from his chest was low and darker than the night that they stood in. It was a warning.

Fear shot across her face when she realized he wasn't as human as he'd appeared. Her kind wasn't the only monsters in the world.

"What are you?"

"I'm danger. And I will kill you if you don't leave now."

She was probably a young one. Not as young as the ones the pack fought. But young enough to be naïve of supernatural world she had been immersed in.

Seth hadn't seen a vampire moved that fast. One minute she was there and the next only her stink lingered.

After she was long gone Seth stood there still vibrating. He was trying to calm himself down.

When Bella placed her hand on his shoulder minutes later, Seth had come to understanding with himself.

He had to protect Bella better. He was only fifteen, but he had a job. That had been a close call. Nothing major happened, but any call was just too close.

XXXX

He'd kept her safe for about two years when Jacob had finally told them it was okay to go home. Edward was after Victoria.

They were sitting side by side in a diner in Utah when she told him that she wasn't ready yet. Seth initially had been surprised. Maybe even a little stupefied.

That past year they both seemed to could not wait to get home.

Though they kept contact with their parents, she missed Charlie and he missed Sue.

"You're not ready to go home," he asked, still in shock.

She shrugged her shoulders, while sipping her coke through her straw.

"No. I don't think I am," she looked to her left to see Seth's shocked face. She rolled her eyes in exasperation at him, "I'm not saying that I won't every go back. I just don't think I am ready _now_."

"What're you gonna do then?" He didn't ask her why.

"I'm gonna go south," she said, "Maybe travel to see Renee."

Seth shot up from the booth so fast their glasses and plates clinked and clanged.

"What're you doing? Is something…" Her warm voice was filled with anxiety.

"I'm callin' home Bella," he looked down at his only friend as her dark eyebrows furrowed. Her eyes were full of innocence and excitement. He liked the strange brown of her eyes. He only knew of one other person having those exact same eyes. And it was because of him that Seth was doing what he was doing now.

"Why?"

"To tell them we aren't coming yet."

"We? Seth…Seth what are you talking about? We?"

"What Bella, thought I'd let you go off and have all the fun by yourself."

She looked up at him incredulously. Then that looked turned into a glare.

"Listen Seth, I don't need a babysitter, okay? I'm an adult," she crossed her arms, "Besides you have school and La Push to get back to," her smirk almost seemed triumphant.

He had gotten his GED months before they had left. He had hated school. And the Cullens weren't in Forks. The reservation had more wolves than they needed now.

When he told her she just huffed. She crossed her arms tighter around her body and poked her lip out childishly.

Adult his ass.

When they were back on the road she blasted the radio load enough to give him a mild headache. And she didn't speak to him for a whole hour.

XXXX

They traveled for a while, visiting the sites of the southern states.

Seth found himself really liking Bella. She was obviously smart and mature and pretty. But that wasn't all she was. He liked that she was just fucking goofy too. She laughed at stupid shit like people tripping over cracks in the sidewalks. She'd even laugh when it was her who was being tripped up.

Of course he'd never let her fall.

She had a pottie mouth too. But only when she was super excited about something.

He found out she was a fan of the old cartoon movies. She'd bought the DVD's of _The Jungle Book _and _The Aristocats_, right off the shelves of a Wal-mart in Texas, all for $60 so she could have digital copies for her iPod. She added more movies as they traveled. She'd make him watch them with her. And then he found that she knew all the words to all the songs in the movies. She'd sang "I Wanna Be Like You" at the top of her lungs while she danced around.

She didn't sing that well. And she had no rhythm whatsoever, but he'd watch her more than he would watch the television.

In those moments he'd find the Bella was crazier than he expected. But he enjoyed watching her _just be_, without a care. It had begun to happen a lot. He stop being surprised when she would just bust out laughing for no apparent reason other than thoughts in her head. Or when she'd just burst into song mid-shopping.

But one time she _completely_ surprised him.

They were in a music shop when he found out she could play guitar. She had set in the back of the shop, surrounded by amps. People were everywhere. Music was everywhere. But there she was, an acoustic in her hand. The calm in all the chaos. Her hair was trimmed towns ago, but it had grown back to reach just pass her elbows. It hung around her face and around the body of the guitar as her fingers picked out the notes to "Dust in the Wind".

He had watched entranced. Her fingers moved cautious, but sure. He'd guessed she hadn't played in a while. Sometimes the strings buzzed and sometimes she'd pluck the wrong note.

When she was done she'd looked up at him, eyes bright, and smiled triumphantly, biting the corner of her bottom lip. He just smiled back.

He'd seen her through Sam's mind, broken. And again through Jacob's mind, healthy and maybe content. But he'd never seen her so beautiful.

XXXX

They ended up in Louisiana because neither of them had ever been. And Bella had relatives who used to reside there. She'd told him they were all gray and dead though, their existences just whispers of ink on paper and faded photographs in Renee's attic.

They settled themselves in a small apartment. Bella took some art courses at the community college and he dabbled with English.

Money wasn't much of a problem. The Cullens had long ago made a savings account for Bella as soon as she and Edward became serious. The Cullens weren't in Forks anymore. And she and Edward weren't together, but the money was still hers. _A lot _of money was still hers.

They did have jobs.

They traded off shifts in a library in a parish two towns over from East Baton Rouge.

He began to love the south. He began to love life outside of Washington with Bella. There were no vampires or wolves. Just him and Bella.

Things weren't perfect. Things were just right.

XXXX

They're on their way back into Forks when they stop at a convenience store.

He glares at a punk with a pimply face and hair more white than blonde. He's sitting behind the counter openly staring at Bella's chest as she's trying to reach him the money, grab her stuff and cover her chest from his sight. He's making her uncomfortable. His name badge says _Nick is happy to serve you!_. Seth wants to glare a hole straight into Nicholas's spotted face.

When she's finished paying Seth stays behind. He grabs the first thing in his sight from atop the counter and pushes it roughly towards the kid. He does this all so he can glare at the little shit a bit longer. It's when the kid bristles and shrugs one of his shoulders, that Seth has some small satisfaction.

"What man, can you blame me?" the kid squeaks out. His voice sounds like he's just hit the middle of puberty.

When he's out of the store he looks at the item he's just spent $2.08 on. A pack of tangerine flavored tic tacs lies in his hand. Bella's favorite.

He looks at the girl waiting inside the car. Her head rests against the window.

She hasn't said much to him. In fact the last time they communicated she had just nodded her head.

She's so fucking stubborn sometimes. And he didn't care what anyone said, giving someone the silent treatment is someone being mean too. And just freaking cruel. Silence was loud.

His best friend wasn't talking to him anymore. And he found that that really hurt.

He thought back to what the kid had said.

"No I don't blame you kid," he whispered to himself, "I can't blame you at all."

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><p><strong>No promises, but I hope to have the next chapter up next week. Don't hold me to that though.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3: Only To Burn Me With the Sun

**Please excuse any and all grammatical errors and misspellings. **

**I do not own Twilight!**

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><p><strong>Only To Burn Me With the Sun<strong>

It's around midnight when he pulls the car behind the cruiser in the Chief's drive. Her soft breaths were coming in lilting like rhythms. Her gentle breathing could lull him to sleep.

It was remarkable really, how different she was when she was asleep. Like a flip of a coin. She resembled his Bella. The one before the quiet animosity and the impassive walls.

She had the seat laid back as far as it could go. Sometime between Port Angeles and Forks she had turned in her sleep towards him. She drowned in one of his hoodies. It had been like pulling teeth to get her to put it on. The shitty car heat had stopped working. She was defiant, said she wasn't cold. She was a liar. Sometimes you had to push Bella. He'd declared bullshit and threatened to turn the car around. She'd thrown evil glances at him up until she'd fallen asleep. But she had put on the damn hoodie.

Now her little hands were hidden underneath her chin and impressive head of hair. Her chocolate colored eyelashes seemed to reach miles along her rosy cheeks. Her bubblegum pink lips were curled upward into a soft smile. Seth thought she was cute.

He wondered what it was she was dreaming of.

He looked out to the woods surrounding the charmingly modest house. They weren't as ominous as they seemed. He didn't fear the woods. His fears weren't tangible. They were indefinite and uncontainable. Lying somewhere between his chest and Bella's unknowing hands.

He glanced at the house. He was more afraid of the life inside of the house. How being here meant everything changed.

And as if he brought them up, Charlie and his mother stood there huddled in the doorway.

Washington was much more frigid than Louisiana. The air was bitter here, even for a shape shifter running 108.9.

They looked tired and cold, and maybe a little surprised too.

Neither he nor Bella had called them. She had been impatient to get home. He hadn't wanted to come at all.

They were leaning on each other for heat and maybe comfort too. A brief shot of grief went through him. The dark haired fair skinned man standing next to his mother wasn't his father.

His mother had seemed happy over their phone calls. And Seth had been happy for her. But with phone calls he hadn't had to see it.

Charlie Swan had found out about wolves and vampires when his daughter didn't come home. He had to live on the reservation for two years due to a ceaseless Victoria. He hadn't been happy to have his life taken away. But he understood. Eventually.

When Bella hadn't wanted to come home, Charlie was outright pissed. Seth had never been so petrified of a phone call. Even if the phone was in _Bella's_ hand and against _Bella's_ ear. He would have readily faced hundreds of vampires.

But Bella took it all in stride.

Like water off a duck's back, she did.

She'd rolled her eyes like she'd do when she was being irritated, switched the phone to her opposite ear and became the most adult like Seth had ever seen anyone be. She had explained "her plan". School. Work. Responsibilities.

She was so convincing. She could have been an advocate for the Devil. She was a knave. A charlatan. A trickster.

Charlie was probably full of the shit she'd been feeding him. He had seemed to eat it up. Only Seth knew she was flying by the seat of her pants.

His mother hadn't been happy about it either. She had blamed Bella. She'd blamed Bella for everything. Including the army of newborn vampires.

She had blamed Bella right up until she heard the weightlessness in his voice. He'd sounded like the old Seth she'd said. He sounded like the kid who believed the world was endless with possibilities.

Charlie and Sue leaned on each other in him and Bella's absence. Forming some type of "Parents Against Absent Kids". It was bittersweet.

Now his mother waved erratically from the door. The light above them casted shadows that extended from the front steps down the shoveled walk. One shadow danced as his mother's stoic façade was cracking. She was excited and looked as if she would burst. He smiled at the familiarity. He was half expecting her to jump up and down, clapping her hands like a crack child at Christmas come early. Charlie, however, was the total opposite. His excitement was obvious, but only in his eyes.

Seth sighed as they began to walk towards him and Bella still inside of the small car. Four eyes peering in.

He felt confined. He wanted to drive off with the sleeping girl beside him. He'd do this tomorrow. He wasn't ready.

Hell, he'd do this year from now and he still wouldn't be ready.

When they were a couple strides away, he quietly got out of the car and put his index finger to his lips, motioning his head towards a sleeping Bella.

She was nestled securely in his arms when Charlie and his mother begin to get her bags. Her fists were full of his pullover. She was seeking his heat in the cold early morning. He'd wished it were for other reasons.

His intense gaze never left her face the entire time he carried her to her room. He loved the peace that her sleep instigated. He refused to let the opportunity to see her this way pass.

He longed for this time. He wondered if it still could be called nostalgia if the time you longed for hadn't even gone.

The door gave as he pushed it lightly with his feet. He had to unthread her fingers from his shirt as he placed her gently in the middle of her bed. For a moment he just watched her.

He furrowed his brows in confusion. How did he separate from her?

He didn't know how to leave her.

He felt as if he didn't keep an eye on her she'd disappear. And she could. She had the funds. Nothing was holding her in Forks. Except for maybe Charlie. And Seth didn't want to even think about her and Jacob.

She never said why she wanted to come back. Maybe it was just to get rid of him.

He began to panic then. He felt silly. But it was justifiable.

He watched her features as she resettled back into a deeper sleep. Her heart thudded calmly. A sigh parted her lips.

He leaned down to give her a kiss goodnight. He had never kissed her anywhere but on the forehead. They were always small and innocent. Friendly. Sometimes being that close to her made him dizzy with other desires, though. Like wanting to kiss her on her lips.

Now he placed a brief kiss to the tip of her nose and a firmer kiss to her hairline that lingered longer than was innocent. He breathed her in. She smelled like Bella and a little like him.

When he turned around Sue was in Bella's doorway. Her eyes were guarded. Watching him closely. He felt caught.

What good was having super hearing if he didn't use it? He didn't know what she'd seen. He felt the need to explain.

What was he going to say?

It was nothing? Innocent?

He didn't want it to mean nothing. And his thoughts about Bella were far from innocent.

His words failed him. So he pretended that she hadn't seen anything.

He just smiled at her. If he acted guilty he might as well confess to it.

"She's exhausted," he explained in a whisper to his mother. He shrugged his shoulders as he walked to the door. "She wanted to drive most of the way. Make sure we got here. She's stubborn like that." He looked back at a sleeping Bella.

His mother was still staring at him when he forced her to hug him.

"Yeah she's like her father," she wrapped her arms around his waist slowly, and then squeezing so tightly it would have been painful had he been all human. Seth let a huge smile spread over his face.

"Jesus Ma," he whispered, "you trying to kill me?" She let out a laugh that sounded like relief, and swatted at his chest. He feigned injury.

"Oh, Baby. You look like a man, so much like your dad," she whispered back, cupping his cheeks. She gave him a watery smile as he pulled away.

Charlie walked up with bags in both his hands. Seth could hear his labored breathing.

"Let me take these Charlie." The older man looked grateful and said a gruff 'thank you'.

Charlie handed him Bella's bags, patted Seth on the shoulder, and walked passed Seth to go to his sleeping daughter.

He watched as Charlie smoothed the hair away where Seth had kissed her. And as Charlie leaned down to kiss her in the exact same spot, Seth looked away. His golden brown skin turned a magenta hue along his cheeks. Bella would have poked fun at his blush. Well maybe not now since she was treating him like he was shit to get stuck on her shoes.

He looked back to his mother who seemed to could not take her eyes off of him. She looked thoughtful as she smiled slightly. Seth placed an arm around her and led her, headed down the stairs. Thirty minutes later he found himself headed towards the front door.

"You're not gonna stay here, Son?" he hated the dejection in his mother's voice. He pulled her to him for another hug. He let her squeeze him as hard as she could this time. It still didn't hurt. She was almost as small as Bella.

Pulling back he gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. She smoothed away his longish hair from his eyes. Just like she'd do when he was a boy.

"I'll come by later. No offense, but I'd rather sleep in an actual bed tonight, Ma," he winked at her.

"Okay," his mothered smiled up at him sweetly, with a brave face. "See you later then, for breakfast?" She sounded so unsure.

He gave her a curt nod of his head, said goodnight and continued his way to the door.

He made his way to La Push in the dark. The closer he got the more exhausted he became and the emptier he felt. Morning light was still hours away, so he would sleep. Then he'd go for breakfast at the Swans' house.

The house was dark. He pushed the door open quietly. No one locked their doors in La Push. Especially not Leah. She'd want a sorry sucker to come through the door.

He made his way to his room. When he fell asleep he dreamed about the sun.


	4. Chapter 4: Bring Us Into Daylight

**Yep, this is another chapter.**

**I do not own Twilight!**

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><p><strong>Bring Us Into Daylight<strong>

It's not often that he is at a loss for words. At least not like now.

Leah had an imprint. And his name was Rudy. Well Rudolph, but Leah said that's reserved for her.

Rudy had a shock of bright orange hair. The color of a flare from a flare gun. His head literally looked aflame. His glasses were black and thick. And his skin was all reds and whites. No mediums. He had the rosiest cheeks. He looked like an abashed Charlie Brown.

Leah was sitting on his lap. And Seth thought for all that she was just looking at the guy, she could have been stroking his penis.

Seth didn't have a weak stomach. But he felt like vomiting.

He had woken up to find a half-naked Rudy standing over him, blue eyes staring creepily. Like one of those silent kids from _Children of the Corn_.And Leah stood behind him giggling. Seth would have yelped if he hadn't realize Leah didn't fucking giggle. Snorted unladylike, but never giggled. That had surprise him more than a strange man standing over his head.

And she was giggling now. She sounded like a Tickle Me Elmo.

Hee hee hee.

Rudy would eat something off their shared plate or kiss her cheek and she would giggle. That shit wasn't right. And the guy seemed to always be smiling. Like it was frozen there.

When Rudy was finished eating, Leah picked up the plate and proceeded to wash it. Humming to herself.

_Humming_.

She had developed manners and was humming.

Seth felt like he was in some type of twilight zone. Someone had replaced his tough sister with a mushy sap.

"It was nice to meet you Seth." _Wish I could say the same_.

He didn't ask to shake Seth's hand; he simply took it from the table and shook it.

He kissed Leah's forehead, threw Seth an eerie look, and was out the door.

"He's..." Creepy. Weird. "Ah…nice." Seth was hesitant.

Sam and Jared went crazy if you talked bad about their imprints.

Leah didn't seem bothered though. "Weird huh? I know. He literally pissed himself when he saw me phase. He'll grow on you though." _Probably not_. "Paul even likes him." _Probably not_.

She took a seat. This time alone.

"So when did you imprint on him."

Leah ran her a finger through syrup left on Seth's abandoned plate. She stuck her finger in her mouth. "Four months ago. You hadn't phased since then. That's why you didn't know." She picked up the remaining waffle from his plate.

He hadn't phased in three months. He didn't want them to see what was going through his mind most of the time. "You could have told me yourself, there are phones."

"I was busy being in denial." She bit into his waffle, syrup squirted down her chin. She was so disgusting for a girl. He hoped she didn't eat like this in front of Rudy.

"You didn't want him? You look like you're so happy."

"Oh I wanted him. And he wanted me. But he had a girlfriend. I hadn't wanted to do to her what Sam did to me, ya know. So I put it off for a while. But then I met her. And she a bitchy, gold-digging girlfriend. Do you know he's loaded? Like we're talking a lot. Like vacation homes in high places and shit," she snorted. "Anysway, the girl was totally using him for his money. I put a stop to that shit." She waved her a syrupy hand in the air carelessly and then gave him the brightest smile.

"Imprints are supposed to be our ultimate happiness, ya know. I'm happy if he's happy and all that no matter what it takes. He's quirky as hell, but his mine. And _I _can make him _really_ happy." She wiggled her eyebrows up and down suggestively licked her lips.

"Uh gross Lee." She cackled and he gagged. He didn't want to hear about Leah's bedroom skills. She was so crass. So much for manners.

"So have you seen her yet." He sobered at the change of subject and tone.

"Nope." Concise and controlled.

"She's been around a lot the past four years, since you were away. The tribe doesn't know if they should consider her imprint. They don't know what to do with her." He knew that. He had only stopped phasing months ago.

"Are you going to go see her?"

"Not sure."

"You mean you don't want to."

"Not really."

"I think she'd like to know that you're back. She feels really remorseful about how things went down. Maybe she'll change her mind."

"I don't want her to." He'd rather die.

"What? Who wouldn't want their imprint? Did you even imprint?" He definitely imprinted. Leah wouldn't understand him. She was too blinded by her own imprint.

"Of course I did Leah."

"Well why wouldn't you want her to accept it. If she's changed her mind Seth you can be different. No offense, but you look lost Baby Brother." He didn't want to be different. Seth wanted his choices. Leah continued. "We didn't know if it still would affect you had she not accepted it. She always seemed fine. But clearly that isn't the case for you."

_That's because it's not the imprint._

"Look Lee thanks for breakfast, I'm going to see Mom now." _And Bella_.

"Seth don't be like that. Just talk to her she might come around." Ha.

The only person he wanted to come around was Bella.

He made his way to the Swan house wishing he was back down south. When he reached Charlie's the first thing he noticed was that Bella wasn't there.

Panic shot through him. He ran to the door at an inhuman speed. Without knocking he opened the door, letting himself in.

He headed straight for the stairs. _She wouldn't. She wouldn't. She just couldn't._

He made it to her room in seconds. Her stuff was still there. He'd never been so happy to see luggage. The relief made his legs buckle beneath him, right there in her doorway. He knew she could still be gone. She could have just left her stuff. But he didn't think she'd be unfair to Charlie. At least he hoped she wouldn't.

"Seth, honey?" he looked up to see his mother standing over him, dishtowel over her shoulder. She was worried.

"Where's Bella?"

His mother frowned. "Jake came by…." That's when he smelled it. The scent of his alpha. It hung fresh in the air. Arrogant and brash.

He felt his relief turn to dread. It was black and ugly and lodge in the pit of his belly.

He had been expecting this. That didn't make him ready, though.

He ate breakfast with Charlie and his mother. He barely heard the conversation. Comments went over his head. Their voices sounded like they were coming from under water. He couldn't say what he ate. The food had no taste. He felt like he was drowning in his dread.

He left in a daze. Bella hadn't come back. His car stayed parked at the Swans'. He didn't think he could drive. So he walked.

The sound of snow crunching under his feet triggered memories from his early childhood.

He had once been a part of a family who had built snowmen and who had impulsive snowball fights. It had once been that normal. Now things were far from normal. _He_ was far from normal. Legends were real. He was wolf. Vampires existed and he was in love with a woman nearly four years older than him he couldn't even have.

XXXX

XXXX

Walking beside Jake was almost like walking beside Seth. They were both _tall_, _dark_ and _handsome_. And _really hot_.

She rolled her eyes at her ridiculousness. Jesus she sounded like Jessica Stanley. She gave a quiet snort at the thought.

Of course Jake heard it. He'd probably heard her roll her eyes too.

He was walking so close that when he smiled the whiteness of his teeth was so bright. Just like the sun. She could go blind. But not like Galileo. That shit was false.

He must think she'll fall. And she just might. She_ was _still clumsy. You didn't grow out of being clumsy. You practice yourself out of it. And Bella was lazy.

That's one thing that set Seth apart, though. Seth didn't hover too close. Both him and Jake would catch her before she'd hit the ground, as would Edward. But lately, Seth, he'd wait right until she was inches from the ground to catch her. He thought that shit was funny. She did too, as long as she didn't hit the ground.

Jake was looking down at her, one eyebrow raised. She shrugged her shoulders and kept walking.

Jake wasn't having it. "Come on Bells, tell me?" He bumped her shoulder with his elbow. It was his elbow because he was so tall. He was taller than some of the little trees they passed.

The last thing Jake needed was an ego boost. He walked with the same serene confidence Edward had. The type of confidence you couldn't piss on.

"It's nothing," she shrugged again. She'd placate him. It wouldn't kill her. "You're just still kind of beautiful."

Jake laughed. It was really loud too. He had to stop and clutch his stomach. People even stopped to see if he was all right. She rolled her eyes.

She would have laughed with him if she knew what was so funny. Cause she could use a laugh. A gut busting laugh.

He straightened up out of his laughed induced stupor and put an arm around her shoulders.

"God I missed you Bells." He had tears from laughing so hard.

He missed her. That's why he laughed. Fuck if she didn't want to laugh too, he was the ridiculous one now.

Jake had come early that morning. She had known it was him even before she opened the door. She didn't feel him through some supernatural shit.

She wasn't that good.

Really it was a process of elimination. She knew Seth was probably dog-tired. Pun not fully intended. And she knew Jake would know that they were back. Even with it being only hours since they'd made it in. Forks was small. La Push was smaller.

Part of her had hoped it was Seth. But she'd opened the door and Jake was standing there. He had had her inside of his arms pulled against his chest—or rather his stomach—in a matter of seconds.

He had never known any knowledge of personal boundaries. At least he didn't when it came to her. Four hadn't changed him one bit.

He had been so excited to see her there. She tried to be excited too.

XXXX

Breakfast is awkward with Jake. At least she'd noticed. She didn't think he did. He talked a lot. Excessively really. She wanted to take her hand and put it over his pink lips. But she didn't.

She dipped a finger into his cream covered chocolate chip pancake instead. She knew that the guys were territorial over their food. She then stuck her cream clad finger in her mouth, sucked it clean and nearly gagged. She hated whipped cream.

She watched as Jake's lips stopped moving and became a thin line. She was waiting for him to tell her how disgusting she was. But he just gave her a tight smile, pushed the food away and began talking again.

He was no fun. Seth would have said something. He would have swatted at her hand, told her stopped acting like Leah and then he'd steal from her plate with that boyish grin, popping in his mouth whatever it was he'd took.

"What're you smiling about over there, Bells?" She hadn't realized she was even doing that. She blushed before she could stop it.

She shook her head and shrugged. "So, how's being Alpha?" She tried to change the subject. It didn't work. If Jake were a man of a duller mind she would have gotten away with it. But Jake wasn't stupid or blind. Maybe a little bland. But definitely not stupid.

"Oh, Isabella Swan, do you have a secret?"

Yep. But it was secrets. Plural. She had plenty secrets. Secrets she would have keep even after death.

Her mother had always warned her of secrets. Renee told her not to have them. Secrets created lies. Lies created bad people. Bad people ruined the world. Bella had rolled her eyes then and had even laughed.

If only it were that simple.

Now she thought it could have been that simple if she'd really wanted it to be.

Now, Forks was an entire secret. Edward was a secret. Jake was a secret.

And Jake was now talking again. He looked so happy, blabbing away.

"Jake, who's Seth's imprint?" The question seemed to come out of nowhere. But it didn't. That question was the main reason she'd agreed to breakfast. Lord knows she wanted to still be asleep.

He looked confused and a little scared. He probably thought she was losing her mind.

"Oh, she's just some girl from the res." She wanted a name. "Hannah." Just like if he was reading her mind.

"Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders. Then she lied. "Oh no reason, he just forgot to tell me."

Jacob didn't catch her lie. He went right back to talking. And Bella was thinking about a girl named Hannah.

XXXX

When Bella got home she felt exhausted.

She'd promised to see Jake later. He'd wanted to spend more time. But she told him she was tired.

And she really was. She was tired of pretending. Tired of running. Tired of secrets.

She'd wished she could be back in Louisiana. But she had let herself go too far. She started to live like she wasn't on borrowed time. Like her life was still her own. And her thoughts were selfish and her feelings were out of control. And she'd started to scare herself a little.

When she talked to Alice that night, Bella was more guarded than usual. Alice had asked her what she was hiding. Just like Jake.

The truth was she only had one real secret of her own. It scared her shitless too. The rest were secrets she'd been keeping for everyone else.

When she climbed in bed, she shut her eyes tight. She hoped for the sleep induced oblivion. She wanted to be unattached from her head for a while.

But it didn't work. Even when she closed her eyes all she saw was Seth. He was in various poses in their apartment. Like snap shots of memory. Reading a book by the sunlit window. Laughing heartily at the television. And in one he was just simply smiling at her.

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><p><strong>Thanks to all of you who has clicked on this hot mess! And to those who've put this story on their alert, or their favorites, and to all of my two reviewers. <strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Against the Morning Sun

**I think I might really hate this chapter. Besides being boring it was hard to make it right. Especially Seth's POV. Since nothing's ever truly done, I'm posting it anyway. Hope you at least like it a little.**

**By the way, Twilight isn't mine.**

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><p><strong>Against the Morning Sun<strong>

He pushed the shopping cart while his sister and her imprint threw things in.

Rudy held up a big bag of mini marshmallows to Leah. "Ooh, can we get these?" His voice was all high pitched with his excitement. He was like Buddy from _Elf _hyped up on sugar. He was a toddler in a grownup's body.

Seth watched as Leah became just as excited. Like giddiness was transferable. She sang out a 'yes' and started muttering about hot chocolate.

It didn't matter that Rudy was paying for everything. He'd always ask her what he could get first. And she'd always tell him yes.

It was part of the imprint. She couldn't really tell him no.

They were grocery shopping. There was going to be a dinner at the Uley's. Seth hadn't wanted to go. But everyone was coming, the wolves, the imprints, his mother and Billy, and Charlie and Bella.

Seth had been having one of those weeks. Everything seemed dim. He blamed the lack of sun and the dreary weather.

Truly he was mentally spent. He wanted to find a hole to drop into. Something he could get utterly lost in. Something akin to a chasm, vaster than space and deeper than the depths of oceans.

He had become an avoider too. He had never been that guy. He'd never used avoidance as a defense mechanism. But now he was. He was becoming Bella, with tougher skin and sharper bite.

Love made him that guy. Love was unsympathetic and belligerent. It didn't fight fair.

It all started with his mother. She started asking questions about him and Bella. He didn't like his answers, he'd started skipping out breakfasts and dinners.

Leah kept insisting he do something about the imprint. She was harder to avoid. Deflection was of better use with Leah. She had a one track mind. All he did was mention Rudy.

The hardest part was seeing Bella with Jacob. She rarely went anywhere without him since they'd gotten home.

Seth really didn't like Bella's BFF. But he knew his opinion of Jacob was sullied by his feelings for Bella. He knew Jacob wasn't all that bad. But Jacob was still nothing like he remembered. It was like the veil had been ripped off. And Seth saw a militant alpha instead, with too much power and with a whole lot of fear.

He had promised to make Seth phase as soon as the week was up. He was cocky and aggressive. And Territorial.

Seth understood though. He knew that Jacob had felt replaced by him. Seth had gotten close with Bella. Making Seth phase was Jacob's way of getting some semblance of control.

But even though he didn't want to, Seth had already planned on helping with patrols.

Victoria was nowhere near Washington. But until she stopped tracking Bella, or Edward finally caught up to her, he'd do what he'd have to do.

XXXX

When they pulled up to Sam and Emily's, a girl was sitting on the bottom step huddled in the cold.

Seth recognized her immediately. He hadn't had the chance to even think about her, let alone go out of his way to see her. He didn't have a choice now.

Leah was all for it. She smiled over the seat at him. Boastful and triumphant. "Are you going to talk to her, _now_?"

He'd never wanted to smack a girl. He seriously wondered for a moment if his sister would even count in that category. He'd smack that cocky grin right from her lips.

"Stop being a dick, Leah." He got out of the car, slamming the door. And began to walk towards the girl.

He saw the look in her eyes before she tried to cover it. The shock.

She couldn't hide it quickly enough. It altered her entire face.

When he'd left he looked too young for her, even as a wolf. But now he looked like what most women had nasty dreams about. He looked like the type of temptation that led the pathways to sin.

As soon as he was close enough he noticed that she smelled off. Different than he had remembered. A male scent mingled with hers. It was a faint scent because of the cold, but he placed it.

He walked her out of hearing range of his nosy sister. They ended up at the edge of the woods, sitting side by side on a tree stump.

"I heard you were back." He knew she did. Leah had a big mouth.

He just nodded. He didn't know what to feel about her or what to say to her. So they set in silence. He watched as Leah and Rudy started getting things out of the car. They were laughing. Cheesy smiles on their faces. They moved together like ripples in a pond. Just like Sam and Emily. Just like Kim and Jared.

That's how his imprint should've been. Easy. Effortless. But his didn't even feel like an imprint anymore. They were strangers. Nothing more, nothing less.

Seth was glad though, because despite their current state, he and Bella could be happy like that. Even when they bickered.

"Do you think that we would've been like that?" She pointed to his sister and Rudy. Both now had bags in their hands. Seth laughed as he saw Rudy struggling with the most bags, and as Leah with two in one hand smacked Rudy on the ass.

"I don't know." He said. But it was a lie. He did know. Imprints were guaranteed happiness. He knew damn well they would've been happy. Blissfully so.

"Maybe we would've. I just didn't see you like that, Seth. I guess I wanted something else."

Laughter was in his voice, "What someone older, more sophisticated?" _Someone with a birthright and the power to match._

"Yeah I guess." She was smiling now too. Good, they could pretend like fate hadn't dealt them a shitty hand. At least he didn't love anyone when he imprinted. And at least she hadn't been a three year old toddler.

He looked at her. "You could have had me as something other than a lover, ya know. I would have been your anything. Your everything."

"I know, but I would have had complete control of your happiness. I didn't want that responsibility, I was only twenty. I was young too." She shrugged her shoulders. She looked thoughtful for a moment. "What about now? Would you still want to be my anything?"

Her voice was teasing, but his body still went rigid. True fear shot through him.

"No." He said tersely.

She looked at him carefully. "There's someone else right?"

He didn't answer. He bowed his head. She hugged him awkwardly from the side.

Smiling slightly, looking up at him, she said, "Hey that's good Seth. You deserve to be happy. Besides, I think I'd like to be your friend. We'll even go slow."

After a moment she was getting up to leave, he called out to her. "Hannah." He honestly didn't care what or _who_ she did in her spare time. But he felt like he had to care. She turned to face him. He sighed out the words. "You smell like him."

She looked at him like he was losing his mind. "What?" At least her confusion was genuine.

"Who you're sleeping with or whatever. You smell like him. It's faint but noticeable."

Her understanding was accompanied with a blush to her bronzed skin. "We haven't…he hasn't…we're not like that now. He came to break it off." She didn't have to explain to him. She shrugged her shoulders like she didn't care. He knew she did.

"Maybe you should go and change your sheets, and probably take another shower before coming back here."

She nodded. "I'll do that."

XXXX

Dinner was okay. Conversation flowed. Bella set across from him. She was quiet for the most part.

Seth had bumped into her earlier. She'd nearly dropped the brownies she'd been holding as she gaped up at him. She averted her eyes first, just like he knew she would. And she walked away just as he was about to speak. It was typical. She was becoming so predictable.

Seth didn't pay attention to much else other than Bella throughout dinner. He watched her daring her to look at him. And as if she sensed him, she never did.

He didn't know what to make of her. She was only talking to Jacob. And Seth watched as she laughed at things Jacob said and answered his questions. But it was all an act. She was just playing a part. Fluid as liquid. She fit right into the box Jacob had saved for her. Picking up right where they'd left it.

Seth didn't buy her performance. Her laughter was phony. Her movements were too calculated. Her words were insincere.

"So Seth, are you and Hannah getting any tonight?" Leah sung out from across the table.

Sue called out Leah's name. Bella's fork clinked loudly on the side of her plate when she dropped it. And excluding Bella and Sue, everyone laughed. Paul was the loudest. Kim and Emily teetered with their soft giggles. Charlie chuckled deeply.

Leah was so tactless. He looked away from Bella to see his sister. She carelessly swirled spaghetti around her fork, a knowing look on her face.

Leah's eyes were darting between Bella's still frame and him. She was sending him a message. She knew and she didn't approve. She smirked as she put the big glob of cheesy spaghetti into her big mouth.

"We're going to take it slow Lee," Hannah said.

Leah wouldn't be deterred. She wanted to hit her target. She smirked, "Well, there's always friends with benefits." Paul let out a boisterous laugh at that, food flew out of his mouth. Rachel rolled her eyes and even Rudy crinkled his nose in disgust, while the girls squealed out Paul's name.

Sue sighed. "Leah, what am I going to do with you?"

"She'd make an incredibly beautiful throw rug." Bella said in an impressive English accent.

"Isabella!" Charlie scolded. He looked at his daughter and shook his head. Bella rolled her eyes.

Seth saw Leah's eyes shrink into slits at the girl sitting across from him. Bella was unsuspecting. She was looking into her plate, pushing food around with her fork, unaware.

"And just think. When she gets dirty, you can take her outside and _beat_ her?" Everyone turned their head to Rudy then. He was watching Bella with that creepy, mischievous smile.

And for the first time since they'd sat down Bella willingly made eye contact with someone that wasn't Jacob Black.

Seth watched as her head shot up from her plate and she stared at Rudy wide eyed, in disbelief and in complete and utter awe. Like she'd found a kindred spirit. And then something remarkable happened. She smiled. And it was real.

Bella pointed her fork towards Rudy, food still attached, grinning goofily.

"'Well now that's pretty big talk little britches.'" She was the perfect Baloo.

Rudy didn't miss a beat. "'I'm big enough!'"

The laughter that came forth from Bella was bubbly. "Holy hell Rudy, I think I'll keep you."

Seth didn't care that Paul called Bella the girl Rudy. He didn't care that Leah couldn't decide whether to frown or smile. He didn't care that it took movie quotes to get Bella's face to be something other than indifference.

He cared that she looked happy for a moment. And it made him feel light as a feather.

XXXX

When they finished eating and cleaning up, Seth watched out the window as Jacob dragged Bella by the hand towards the garage beside the little red house. He felt a small hand on his shoulder. He looked down to see Hannah's hesitant smile.

Most of their interaction was out of pure obligation. The imprint that should have been. But Seth thought she was a nice girl. She watched with him as the boy took the girl into the garage. She didn't feed him any bullshit. She didn't try to reassure or give him any false hope. She didn't say anything.

XXXX

XXXX

Even as he dragged her into his garage she didn't protest. She let him grab hold to her face. She let him lower his lips to hers. She let his hands grab hold of her ass. She let him have access to her mouth. She let him push her back against the couch cushions. She ignored the food trying to claw its way back up her throat, as clothes were being removed.

In the back of her mind she knew that this wasn't who she wanted it to be with, so he didn't taste right. He didn't feel right. His kisses were too hard. His kisses were too soft. Too rough. Too fast. Too much. Everything he did was wrong. Not enough to make it feel right. Not enough to make her want him like she wanted someone else.

"Are you still a virgin Bella?" His lips were at her throat. They were hot and wet. Breathy kisses. They felt like steam. There was no pleasure.

One of his hands was on her bare breast, the other on her stomach. They were too heavy with heat. It felt like she was melting beneath him. She was so aware of how unpleasant it felt, she hadn't realized her shirt had risen so high.

She panted out a 'no'.

Jake stopped kissing her neck. His hands stilled. His dark eyes were wide in the dim light. He looked hurt that she hadn't waited for him.

"What? Well, who was it you lost it to? Was it Seth?"

She hadn't lost anything. She had given it up.

"What? No, Jacob. It wasn't Seth." Even when she was with Jake she couldn't escape Seth.

She let out a breath and pushed against his bare chest until he was in a seated position. She hadn't been in the mood to go further anyway. She had just wanted a distraction. She pulled her bra back in place and pushed her shirt down over her belly.

"Good, I won't have to beat the kid then. Or maybe I would have given him extra patrols after he phases tomorrow."

Bella shook her head, aggravated and let out a bitter laugh. Jake didn't seem to catch it. He always caught only what he wanted to.

"Seriously Bells, I think that kid has a crush on you." Bella couldn't look him in the eyes then. Because hope could be a blinding emotion.

Jake laughed again. As if to laugh at the ridiculousness of his own statement. Bella didn't what it to be ridiculous and she would have thought for him being a mythical creature he wouldn't be so disbelieving.

"Why do you do that?" She asked frustrated. She busied herself with putting on her coat. She looked at him as he watched her.

"Do what?" _Act like you ten feet taller than everyone else._

He got up, hands outstretched; approaching her like she was going to flee. Like she was fragile.

She stood up looking for her hairclip. She didn't want him to touch her.

"You call him 'kid'. He's nineteen. And in a view months he'll be twenty." He watched as she pulled her hair away from her face with the clip she'd found by his feet. When she zipped up her coat he almost looked like a kicked puppy. She bet she was the first and last to reject him in four years.

Jake shrugged. "He's a year and a half younger than me. So I call him kid." He said it like it wasn't difficult to understand. Like she was the dense one.

By his definition she could call Jake kid too, since she had two years on him. He could be a child. He just lacked the innocence and the sincerity.

She used to like Jacobs matter-of-fact attitude. It always made him seem at ease. Now it made him look presumptuous.

"Bella, where are you going?"

"Home. It'll be dark soon. Charlie will worry."

She pulled her wool hat on top her head and looked at Jake. He was so handsome. Even with that thing, that patch of hair over his lip and chin. He thought he was a man now. But age was only a number. It was irrelevant. It didn't measure anything except how long you'd been on the earth. He'd seen a lot worse than most his age, but he was still so naïve.

She really didn't blame him. La Push was the center of his world. And La Push stood still while the rest kept spinning.

He tried to convince her to stay. "Charlie won't worry, Bella. You're a grown ass woman. Besides, he knows you're with _me_." His ego would swallow him whole someday.

She let out a short laugh. Bella thought Charlie was too trusting. "You think he'd like to know that you were practically fucking his daughter on that couch there Jacob Black?"

She smiled beautifully when he didn't say anything. He was finally speechless. She kind of liked the sound of not hearing him. When he was quiet he sounded incredible.

Bella was at the door when she looked over her shoulder. "See ya later, Jake." She didn't wait for his answer before walking out.

XXXX

Bella said goodnight to Charlie and Sue on her way up to her room. They were cuddled up on the couch watching television sitcoms. It was weird seeing Charlie with a woman. It was weird that he was someone's boyfriend. But Charlie was blissfully happy. And Bella liked Sue.

In the shower she scrubbed her skin pink where she still felt the weight of Jake's hand. Her skin flushed crimson when she was done.

She was emailing Alice and Renee when she heard a knock against her bedroom window. She closed down the lid of her laptop and she was surprised to see Seth crouched on a tree branch. She had expected it to be Jake.

She walked to her window and looked out at Seth's sweet face. She wanted to tell him to run while he still could. But she also wanted to hold on to him while she still could. She decided to do neither.

She'd seen him earlier walking towards the woods with the girl. With his haircut low again, he could have been Embry. They were the same build. But the way he stood, the way he carried himself, she knew it was Seth. He was the only one other than Quil, who was truly okay with his fate.

She had to swallow down the jealousy of seeing him with another girl. She knew it was his imprint.

She had stared at them until they became dots floating on the white snow. Later she saw how beautiful Seth's Hannah was. And old insecurities had begun to fester. Seeds that Edward had unknowingly planted. They grew like the spread of wildfire through dry fields.

Now Seth knocked on her window again, harder, breaking her free from daydreaming. "Open the window Bella." His tone was serious, but the effect was weakened through the glass.

She wasn't sure she should, but she did as he asked.

She let her face fall into indifference.

"Seth us normal folk come and go through doors." She folded her arms over her chest. Partly due the cold air through the window. And partly because she wasn't sure if she wouldn't touch him.

She backed up to let him in. He was so big. Larger than life.

"Normal people wouldn't climb trees in the dark." He shrugged. "I guess I'm not normal."

He walked to her bed and flopped down unceremoniously. The bed squeaked under his weight. She walked to stand by her desk and looked at him. He fit perfectly in her space. Instead of letting herself like it, it aggravated her. She wanted to push him to the floor.

"So how's Hannah?" He didn't flinch like she wanted. He stared at her as if he was bored. He could have been watching grass grow.

He was better. He went for the gut. "How's Jake?" And she did flinch. Then she looked away. He chuckled darkly.

This jab for jab wasn't something new that they did. Seth always gave back what she dished out. It just hadn't been this malicious before.

"Why won't you just ask me about Hannah? I'll tell you anything you want." She didn't like the girls name on his lips.

"It's none of my business. Just like what I do with Jake's none of yours." He looked like she'd slapped him. "Why are you here?"

She didn't want to fight with him. She just wanted to push him away. Set him free before it was too late.

He stuck out his hand. "Come here Bella."

Again she obeyed. He was using his no nonsense voice. He pulled her down beside him. She rested against his chest. Tucked under his arm. Her hands tightly fisting his shirt.

His heat didn't overwhelm her like Jake. Everything about him was comforting.

"Bella, why are you so mad with me?" He sounded so so tired.

She raised her head to look up at him. His head was turned, facing upward. His eyes were on the ceiling, but he was looking so far beyond. He looked lost. She knew she probably did that.

She bit the corner of her bottom lip. He slowly turned his face to look into her eyes. His eyes were almost the same color as hers. They were tawny. And his features were so delegate. They were boyish. He was almost angelic with his long coal black lashes and full cheeks.

"Can't we still be friends? I need for us to be friends here too," he whispered as he kissed her hair. He squeezed her waist when her eyes became glassy. He sighed. She knew that he didn't know why she was being distance. But it was for his own good.

When he was asleep, she was still awake, watching him.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading and reviewing.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6: As a Moon Waned to Crescent

**Twilight's not mine!**

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><p><strong>As a Moon Waned to Crescent<strong>

The heat makes her delirious. The scenery that unfolds behind her eyelids is of pale sand and paper white clouds in blue skies. She's lying on some beach in the summer heat. A thin towel beneath her feels like lying on feathers. She watches as the sun breaks the endless ocean into diamonds. Watching as the blue waves roll in to deposit onto the shore, only to retreat pass the little island to be swallowed by the horizon.

She watches as the sun and shadows draw gestures in the sand. And when the wind blows, her hair spills down over her shoulders. Onto the sand. Into the salt filled breeze. Wisps of ribbons in the wind.

Everything there is, is beautiful. Like those pictures Renee had sent of Florida beaches. Photos of the loud ocean that consumes the chatter and laughter of beachgoers. Like the sound of the ocean was nothing more than accumulation of its surroundings. The people. The wind. But it was still inadequate to define the otherworldly sensibility of being immersed by mere sound.

The spray from the waves curls her hair. It feels amazing on her face. But nothing like the delicious heat along her back. And when the high temperature begins to surround her waist, she closes her eyes tight trying to intensify the feeling, grappling at it like a last breath. But imagination disintegrates and she wakes to see a crack in her bedroom window. A new morning has come. New rain. In the young winter. And her old bedroom, with details of a teenage girl flirting at the edges of the woman she is later to become.

The windowsill has become wet, so has the dark wood of her floor. When she sighs it yields condensation. The air is cold. But in a striking contrast the heat still engulfs her. And when she closes her eyes once more, she can't help scooting back, pushing her back into the center of his solid chest. And the heat breaches right through her camisole. Through her skin. Right through her sanity. And like the addict she is apparently, she pushes harder, until every inch of her backside is surrounded by the fire. Cause if she could mold herself into him she would.

She's surprised to find the hardened bulge just below her ass. She moves away as if she's been shocked.

She could explain the mechanical components of morning wood. She could count off the facts like she was a specialist and it was her field. Dream related sleep. Blood flow. She'd heard it through conversation of giggling in Phys. Ed. She was so mature for her age, yet still naïve. She'd looked it up when she'd been too embarrassed to ask Renee.

But rational thought of mechanics left her mind when she understood it was Seth. And the distance, however great, did nothing to stop the heat that arrived between her thighs. It did nothing to tamper down the speeding up of her breathing.

The arm around her waist flexes. And very slowly she is pulled back flush against him. She whimpers to stifle a moan.

"Bella…" he whispers. Low and rough. Thick. His voice pulling loose all sanity. It's at her ear but she's sure she feels it elsewhere. And she squeezes her eyes shut tight against the fire igniting in her belly. As if to wake up again from a suspended state of consciousness. Hoping that if you couldn't see, you couldn't be seen.

But the bed shifts. And then she's lying on her back. The heat licks at her front.

"Jesus," he says. Cause he can smell her. And she becomes embarrass when the blasphemy from his lips stirs the ache further. And when her hands lift to cover her face he stops them with one of his own.

"Bella…God…look at me." And she will. She just needs time, because she's being dramatic. The sound of his winded stuttered speech not helping. If she looks at him in this state she would possibly die of white hot shame.

She's never been an attention-seeker, and never a people pleaser, but she knows she'd do just about anything for Seth. She'll push against him sometimes, because common ground had to be achieved through war. It had to be fought for. But she'll always relent.

So when she opens her eyes it doesn't surprise her how easy she gives in. He's leaning over her. Above her. Shirt gone. Dark skin in the dim light. His nipples darker. His thumb smooth's away hair at her temples. The other thumb running circles where the camisole has exposed a midriff. And she's sure the swirling fire he's creating is making her light headed. But when her breath hitches, it's because of the look in his eyes. Conjuring up a dizzying sensation flooding her ears with sounds of rushing water. Just like a roaring ocean.

Then he moves. Lowers his head and his lips grazes her sensitive neck. Her jawline. Her cheek. The corner of her mouth.

And as he goes, his eyelashes tickle over her skin. And it feels really good. Like being happily drunk. Like the time she got into Renee's liquor cabinet. Her first and last endeavor to be rebellious. She hadn't entered adolescence quite yet. She was eleven. Even then she hadn't been one to tiptoe through the stages of life. Always flying through at warp speed. Always quicker than the rest.

He pulls away, he looks back and forward between her eyes and her lips. Assessing her reaction. Her heartbeats are fast. Hard in her throat. Harder in her chest. Loudest in her ears. Feeling as if it would give at any moment. She's positive it is unnatural for a heart to kick its way out.

She wants to say something. 'No' maybe. But it would come out something like a 'yes'. Maybe 'definitely'. But most likely a 'please'.

She used to kiss him. Stolen kisses from his lips. He didn't know. He'd fall asleep on the couch. Always whisper light. Cause if you could barely feel them it was still innocent.

Now, when it happens, it doesn't matter what she plans to say. It doesn't matter much who moves first. They themselves don't know. For three very excruciating seconds they are in a limbo. And then their lips touch like an objects fold to gravity. She closes her eyes and he grips her hips. She expects another heated graze, but he pulls her bottom lip between his lips and sucks hard. His lips are soft and moist in their uncertain rhythm over hers. And so very sweet.

She catches his kisses as if they are precious. Because they are. And they kiss until it becomes more urgent. Deeper. With smacking sounds. And soft whimpers. She moves to match his pace. Kissing him as fervently as he did her. Sucking hard on his lips. Tongues. Trying to uncover the distant abandon of young children that left them both too early.

Her hands move to back of his head. Fingers sliding through his silky short hair. And he moves between her legs. And when she feels him the name of God is not enough. She pulls as he pushes, until the distance between them is imaginary. Until breathing seems almost unimportant.

When they stop to breathe, it's in a rush. He steals her breaths as she steals his. Noses and foreheads touching. She opens her eyes. Breathing still erratic. She waits for him to catch his breath. Her thumbs absently strokes his cheeks. And with each breath comes clarity and dread builds. And when he opens his eyes she looks away. His eyes are so dangerous.

"Bella? Hey…"

"You have to go." She needs to think. She looks at him. His eyes. The hurt there hurts like it's her own.

She carries a soft graze of her thumb over his bottom lip. "Please Seth," she says. Because she really needs to think. And because he is just as confused as she is, he leaves. Out the window. Out of the elaborate future that starts running through her reckless mind.

She's left looking up at her ceiling. In the middle of her bed. Perturbed. His taste on her lips. His scent in her nose. And the pummeling realization that they've just unhinged something that won't ever go back to the way it had once been.

XXXX

"Fuck." It's said under her breath. Charlie still hears it. He gives her a look. She holds up the knife that's nearly carved a tip of her calloused index finger. Sue giggles from beside her.

Bella's teaching them how to make gumbo. She'd told them about the time they'd traveled to New Orleans. It had been a two hour drive from their apartment. She and Seth had spent the day strolling through the French Quarter in the sweltering Louisiana heat, a little culture shocked. Everything was so different. They found their way through the crowds of people. Visiting the shop after shop. They ate the street vendor's boudin. And chased it away with canned soda sold for a dollar a pop from another vendor. They set at a curb and listened as a young man's guitar belted out the sorrow of man's unsuccessful ventures. It was the story of every man who'd ever been afflicted with love lost. She had been envious even as her flips flops patted the pavement to the haunting coloring of the notes. Not because she couldn't play those same licks. But she wasn't sure she could make her instrument sing. Make it feel.

They met him afterwards. His name was Frank and he told her a story. It was his story of the song. And his accent was so thick. When he talked, it was too fast. She'd found herself frustrated. Feeling inadequate when she had to ask him to repeat himself. Frank walked with them for a while. He showed them around. They ate some more food, put the second time it was jambalaya from a small kitchen. Seth had fourths and Bella declared it her favorite.

When they left Frank, they were arm and arm, elbows linked. Seth had walked as she skipped. He laughed when she stumbled. He laughed harder when she scowled.

It was by accident that they'd found the small candle shop. At first she had been attracted to its complete feel of solitude. But the sign over the window was a white board hanging by yarn and a tack. The word 'Candles' was written in blue dry erase letters. Three different candles in the window. She'd realized it wasn't because of its solidarity. But because it was the least bizarre shop they found. It wasn't gaudy. Nothing elaborate.

The owners name was Eve. And her shop smelled of burnt peppermint. Her hair was so white that there had been no trace left of the brunette she'd once been. She told Bella and Seth her story. Cause everyone had one. Bella liked Eve's though. She had a simple uneventful life. She never married nor had children. Living only for herself for so long. She'd devoted her life to the way of the traiteur. She'd grown up in tradition. Passed down from word of mouth. She'd taught Bella of psychosomatic healing and traditional medicines. Things Bella, herself was sure she'd never use. But listened with enthusiasm because the exotic unfamiliarity was alluring. And because Bella had been most curious about the food, Eve had given Bella some family recipes too. Because Eve didn't have grandchildren and Bella's grandparents were all dead.

It had been a delightful encounter. Both of them better for it. Bella knew that sometimes strangers filled the holes sometimes even better than the actual people that created them. Just like Seth had.

XXXX

Charlie's eats more than he helps. He sits at the table far away. This way disasters are avoided. But he still manages to test everything cooked before it goes into the big pot.

Bella has never seen him like this. Laugh lines on his face. At the corners of his eyes. Like he's alive. Brimming. Effervescent. She knows that part of it's because she's home. But it's mostly Sue.

Bella hasn't talked with him much. In fact she talks more with her mother through emails who's miles away than she does Charlie. He more or less talks at her. And it's always stilted. Distant. She feels guilty she never learned how to be a daughter to either one of her parents.

"So Bella, how are things going?" Sue asks. Sue always initiates the conversation when there's one.

She doesn't know what to tell them. So she shrugs her shoulders, pouring the shrimp into the concoction. And she thinks of Seth. "It's weird being back I guess."

"What about things with Jake?" It's the only topic her father willingly brings up. They haven't yet talked about vampires and werewolves. The big issues. Yet he readily talks about Jacob.

She briefly entertains telling her father that she and Jake had nearly gotten through all the bases after their first kiss since she'd been back. Then again she'd gotten pretty far with Seth only several hours ago and it was their first kiss ever. She dreaded when Jacob found out.

"You don't know? Well you guys look like…" he shrugs to himself. "Well then what are your plans? Aren't you gonna try with him?"

"We've changed Dad."

"People do that Bells. And sometimes they find it again. And sometimes it's better."

"And what happens when he imprints?" It doesn't feel like a valid question. What good was an imprint if Seth could kiss her like that?

Sue says, "Bella he may never even imprint."

"But it's not promised that he won't."

Charlie's voice is too calm. "That still shouldn't make you want to leave."

Bella stops stirring the pot. She looks at her father.

"Do you think Jake is enough to make me stay here?" It comes out wrong. It's not what she means. And when Charlie's hand slams down on the table she jumps and she knows he takes it wrong.

"Damn it Isabella. You don't get it do you? You were planning to become one of them. Planning to get up and leave. And when that was derailed you still had to leave." And by this point she gets it. But Charlie's not finish. "You've been here an entire week. An entire week Bella and you haven't unpacked. You talk on the phone with that…that…thing. And Seth…" She looks away at his name. "...Seth watches like he's waiting for you to take off. So maybe I'm waiting for you to take off too. And excuse me from hoping that there's something in this town that can make you happy so that you won't just leave."

When he walks into the living room she hears the television come on. The old recliner squeaks under his weight.

Bella feels guilty. She's angry too. But neither emotion makes her feel better. And it doesn't change the mess she's created. And she begins to hate her mother just a little, because it's Renee's mess too.

When Sue hugs her from the side, Bella lets her. Sue smells like how every mother should. Like lavender shampoo and home cooked meals. Bella can't remember if Renee ever smelled like that. She only remembers the beautiful scented perfumes.

"When we have children we stop living for ourselves. They become everything. He just wants you happy, Bella."

"I know. And didn't mean it like that. Jake's important to me, it's just…" she sinks into Charlie's vacated chair. She runs her fingers through her hair. Everything was so wrong.

"And what about Seth? Is he important to you?" Bella looks up at Sue. Her long black hair pulled over one shoulder. Her arms folded as she leans on the counter. "You must've gotten pretty close with him." She cocks an eyebrow up at the older woman.

"Ah…yeah…he's a good friend." She bites her lower lip and looks away. She doesn't say what else he's good at. Like kissing.

Sue turns around to stir the pot. "He's a good man too."

"Yeah I suppose he is…" Bella fiddles with her hands. "…I appreciate you letting him help me."

Sue turns around. "Yeah, I know I hadn't been okay with it at first. Leah hadn't been either. She thought you were going to take her place. But now I don't think she had anything to worry about at all."

XXXX

Jacobs comes by later. Charlie gets the door. And when Jake can't quite meet her eyes she knows that he knows. Oddly she doesn't feel bad as she probably should. She apologizes anyway.

He tells her he still wants her. And she knows he does. Something in the way had never stopped him before.

When he asks her to try, she thinks about Sues words earlier. That Seth was good man. And she thinks about Charlie too. So when she says yes to Jake, it's with good intentions. Even if it does feels more right in her head than her heart.

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><p><strong>Sorry about the delay and t<strong>**hanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7: When the Sun Breaks Free

**Sorry this is wordy. **

**I don't own Twilight.**

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><p><strong>When the Sun Breaks Free<strong>

He lifts up his glass and drains it in one gulp. The whiskey has lost its kick. The sweet taste is acrid on his tongue. He places the glass onto the tarnished wooden surface. He silently motions for another like the old pro he's not. He's channeling his father from a past life. When the old men used to sit around tables filled with playing cards, drinking moonshine from mason jars and smoking Phillies sweet vanilla blunts.

Seth had always been at Harry's feet. Hearing the manly laughter. The masculine banter. The cussing that melded like background music. Learning how to be forty at the age of eight. Seth had idolized Harry like any other son would their father. But when he abandoned the childhood wonderment for cynical adolescence, there was this slight of spiteful understanding that his father had flaws that ran deeper than the aging lines on the surface of his skin. But even then, to Seth, his father had never really lost the luster. On the contrary, Seth realized that real men had flaws. And his father had a weakness for whiskey.

He circled the glass with his hands. Liking the way the amber liquid turns tepid underneath his touch.

The night had its beginnings as a guy's night out. Promises of swearing and drinking. Rudy had put his arm around Seth and pushed up his glasses. "We can go to a bar," he'd said. Apparently Seth was too depressed for his sister's imprint.

The bar was in Port Angeles. "They don't check I.D.," Rudy informed, putting a black fedora on top his head, and adding something about how they made their own pretzels.

They listened to radio talk on the drive. Relationships was the topic. Seth turned it off after he realized he had begun to relate every caller's unfortunate situation to his own. So Seth listened to Rudy talk instead. He told Seth how he met Leah. Rudy said he was caught up in her web the moment he'd seen her. A sudden bout of humor had him bark out a laugh, thinking of the similarities between his sister and a black widow.

Seth told Rudy about Bella. How for the past couple of weeks she'd been splitting her time between Charlie and Jacob. How she seemed more settled. Sue had even gone with her to look at a few houses around Forks. His mother eyes lit up when she told him Bella's house would have a beautiful porch.

Seth didn't tell Rudy how odd it was seeing people play what he believes to be his role. How it feels like she's leaving him behind. Her taking a single step seems like miles away from him. She won't even stay in the same room alone with him. And it's a fist in the gut. Just like when she explained away the kiss.

It was nothing she'd said. They were just caught up in the heat of the moment. She wouldn't hold anything against him as long as he didn't. And he'd agreed stupidly.

Jacob knew something happened. He had been the one to leave Bella's window open that night. He'd seen Seth and Bella in bed together. But Seth didn't know how much Jacob or the pack knew. Brady was the only one Seth was allowed to phase with. And Jacob wouldn't phase with either Seth or Brady.

Honestly the elders didn't want Seth phasing around most of the wolves. The Council, afraid of the loose ideas and attractive imaginings running rampant. Fantasies about life outside of La Push that prolong phasing with Seth could bring about. Seth had never thought of his predicament as a prison. But it sort of was.

The only silver lining was Jacob didn't disallow Seth from seeing Bella. Seth was sure Jacob would've done something. Maybe alpha order him from seeing her.

But there wasn't any such alpha order in place, so Seth pushed boundaries. He noticed her heart beat differently around him now. More erratic, out of control. He had wondered what touching her would do. And it started like that. A brush here, a brush there. During dinner passing the potatoes. In the hallway to the bathroom. With his eyes on hers across a room. And always her heartbeat would go haywire. And Seth felt satisfied, 'cause then he knew it wasn't the heat of the moment. The truth lying in the drumming of her heartbeat.

He felt like she was always telling half-truths. He'd asked her once, why she'd tell parts of the truth sometimes. She didn't get defensive like he'd thought. She said she got it from her mother. She said it nonchalantly, as if he'd asked where her brown hair had come from. She said Renee had always given her the truth. And Bella understood at a very young age that if you cut it in half, it hurt significantly less.

XXXX

When they got to the bar Rudy announced he was buying for everyone. He headed straight for the jukebox. And Seth tried the pretzels in the plastic blue bowls atop the bar Rudy had raved about.

After forty-five minutes or so, Rudy was putting down shots like they were water. And then Leah showed up, coming to loom over Seth shoulder and snatching up his drink and drinking his entire refill.

When she looked at him they looked at each other like they did when they were younger. When he believed that he could zap her with laser beams and nothing in life was more complicated than simply wanting to wish his sister away.

When she took the seat next to his, she had problems. Her limbs protruded like the seat was too small for her, when it held him perfectly and he was bigger than her.

He thought it odd the wolf gave all of them grace except the only girl.

Leah had joined in on the pretzel fest, telling him about the pack meeting he'd already known about. And then they just watched her imprint.

When the song ended, another had begun. The music was Otis Redding's "Sitting On the Dock of the Bay" when a girl took one of Rudy's hands and moved him to the dance floor. He looked up over his glasses, and with his free hand he dipped his hat low towards Leah, just like a Texas cowboy. And his sister laughed.

It was a pity he wasn't wasted yet. He ought to be dancing shamelessly like Rudy. Jigging fast to slow tempo music. Wasting the night away, singing off key, a tune at a time.

He got up to leave a couple of hours after sitting down. He'd consumed more drinks than the average man and he still was too coherent.

He was not ready to admit that it was the second most fun he's had out drinking.

And it reminded him of the night Bella turned twenty-one. They went out to celebrate, and he learned that alcohol affected Bella at exponential rates. He had sipped leisurely on beer at the bar while she got increasingly lazy eyed from fruity drinks. She said the taste of beer was disdainful. But with a few rounds it hadn't mattered. Consequence tasted the same after a certain point.

She'd set at the bar with her arms folded over the counter. He watched her suck from the little black straw. Bobbing her head to the music and smacking her lips at the taste. Then she got up and headed towards the dance floor. It was her fucking song, she'd said.

He had been nervous to let her out of his sight in public. Because being free from running was still new. He'd told her as much. But Bella had an answer for everything. "Listen for me," she'd suggested like it was all too obvious. Doesn't her heartbeat quicker than most, she'd asked. That's what Edward and Jake had told her.

Seth looked at the bite on her wrist. It was true. So he told her it was okay. She had rolled her eyes and said she wasn't asking permission.

She crisscrossed through the people and danced aimlessly until she disappeared into the crowd, becoming a part of the fever. The bodies indistinguishable from the music. The sound. The people. The lights. The pulse. Utterly one.

And when she came back to him, her skin glistened. Her cheeks flushed rosy. Her breathing short. Eyes bare and wide with alcoholic merriment. Part of her ponytail was sticking to her neck. But those were the things he barely noticed. The things that had been most noticeable was that her chest heaved with her breaths. Her breasts were pert. Nipples pointy through her black tank top.

He had been powerless to look away, until her hand was around his and she was asking him to come and dance.

She was fun inebriated. Absurdly happy. Telling him how boneless she felt. Like gelatin, she said. And she turned clumsy, so he put her on his back for the walk home. She was light as a feather, clinging to him like a baby monkey as he walked through the warm night and soundless city streets. Giggling beautifully in his ear. Her warm laughter went straight to his belly. And the butterflies danced foolishly when she began to softly sing hum a drunken rendition of "Melissa" into his shoulder. Melissa had been their bartender's name. Bella had confessed her undying love to Melissa after she tasted the first drink. "It's so fucking delicious," she'd said, straw still resting on her tongue as she smiled. And then she was singing how sweet Melissa was.

Seth had listened at how the words sounded from her mouth. Singing like she owned them. Her eyes were probably closed. And knowing Bella they were definitely closed, like she was into it. Like singers did on television. And he had chuckled at the thought. And when he'd begun to spin them around, he had her squealing as she put her face into his shoulder. The weight of her lips through his shirt put his heart in his throat and lovely chills up his spine.

The closer home became the more her happiness turned sentimental. She called him pup with a pouty slur, with her fingers running through his hair. He closed his eyes, walking in a daze. Her breath sweet on his neck, she spoke softly, as if telling secrets to his skin. She always wanted to play fetch with his wolf, she said laughing tiredly. If she threw up later that night, please hold her hair. She couldn't shampoo it drunk. And she had never wanted Edward back. She wanted the parts of her he'd taken. The night home from Italy, she said she'd lost all her choices. She didn't take Edward back because it was the only decision of hers that she had left.

Seth didn't quite understand what she meant by that last one. She sounded so pitiful. But the next morning, when he held back her hair, what he would later remember was that it was the day he realized that he was falling for her.

XXXX

He traveled through trees, as a blur. Fast as the speed of sound that no human eyes could follow.

At first his fascination with being wolf was the fact that you could do something a lot of people wished they could do. You could make yourself become something else.

But the most exhilarating part was always the run. When you could go fast enough, the ground disappeared into nothing, and it almost felt like flying. So Seth ran and he forgot about things around him. And he reached the freedom that drinking had failed to give him.

Sam's house was in the distance of the cliff. He heard as voices came and went over the rushing of the ocean. It sounded as if the water was speaking.

It wasn't until he was on the porch did he make out the voices. Bella was there and they had started without him. "Charlie would never tell," she sounded disgusted. And the vehemence in her voice had him rushing into his pants.

"We don't know that Bella." Jacob said. _Bella's talking to Jacob like that?_

Seth rushed up the stairs. Footfalls heavy and muted on the wood, but only the wolves heard him. They all looked at him as he entered the door. But his eyes were immediately on Bella. She set in the middle of the sofa, looking too small between Brady and Paul.

She didn't spare Seth a glance. Instead she was focused on Jacob standing in the middle of the room. Then at Sam, she said, "He wouldn't."

"We can't take those chances." Jacob announced loudly.

"What chances? You're the ones who told him in the first place. You didn't see him as a liability then. What—."

"That was then Bella." Sam cut in angrily, voice sounding like slamming doors. Seth huffed lowly at his cousin's husband. Sam glanced at Seth as if he's an afterthought. But when he spoke again he was calmer. "That was before we had a camera and pictures of just the pack. And an unfamiliar human scent. Your father could have possibly destroyed an entire La Push."

"You're assuming he did it. Why would Charlie give away your secret? He's known most of you your entire lives." She looked around at the impressive men and imprints. No one met her eyes. "It could be Victoria for all you know," she said to Jacob.

"Bells we aren't ruling that out. But Charlie's the only likely possibility we have and we will have to deal with him accordingly." He sounded just like Billy Black. Jacob only used his father's voice when his own wouldn't be effective.

Bella let out a sigh of frustration. Seth knew she didn't like it like this. Sitting in a room divided into uneven parts. Sitting amongst them under a deceptive notion that they were all on the same side.

Seth watched as she got up and walked towards the kitchen, extracting herself from the number, drawing a line. There is a certain bravado you have to dress with when you decide to stand alone. Bella honed her conviction and wore it in her posture. _She _was prepared to stand alone. Only the bravest were.

"He didn't do it." She said before going into the kitchen. The door swayed back and forward behind her until it stopped and then it was as if she were never there.

Seth watched as Jacob dropped into a chair, covering his face with his hands. He looked defeated. Seth knew that he'd move heaven and earth for Bella. But so would Jacob. And to deny her anything, it must be serious.

Seth looked around at his pack mates. His confusion asking silent questions.

Embry answered by pointing to few Polaroid's resting on Emily's great grandmother's coffee table.

"Someone knows about the pack," Embry said quietly, looking at his hands. Seth picked up the pictures. And he saw the pack in several snapshots of their private lives. It was evident that someone was spying on them. All the pictures were taken from a distance. And they seemed to be just of the pack.

Seth looked around at the people in the room. Paul and Jared held their imprints close. Emily's hand was in Sam's. The rest of them folded in on themselves like fallen towers. Like statues in tragedy.

Some of them acted like there was another life out there that had to be had. Having there world potentially fall apart put things into prospective.

And it clicked into place. Seth looked at his alpha. "You believe it's Charlie?"

"Charlie Swan or another that he told. The scent on these prints are unfamiliar. The wind must've blown them in patrol areas. Embry found them on his trip back to the res."

"What does that mean for Charlie?"

"He's suspect until we find out what the hell is going on." Jacob looked at Seth dead in the eye. Daring him to protest. Probably knowing that Seth's weakness for Bella went somewhere deep as his own. Maybe even deeper.

Seth nodded slightly in acceptance and Jacob walked into the kitchen.

Seth listened at Jacob trying to reason with Bella. "You don't understand," he said softly. No, she said, you don't understand, didn't he get that it was her fucking father they were talking about.

"Charlie Swan wouldn't hurt a goddamn fly," she said. "He loves this tribe."

"So do I," Jacob said, "I'm a part of this tribe. I'm going to be Chief someday."

"But you know it's not Charlie," Bella insisted. Jacob said he didn't know anything.

Bella grew quiet. Jacob wasn't the fidgety type. But Seth heard his fit scuff the floor. And his clothes made slight noises as he shifted his weight. Creating noise when it was just too quiet. Seth knew she was probably staring him down. A fighter to the end.

Seth also knew the full concept of guilty and innocent of a tribe's standard would be lost on Bella. The tribe as a whole didn't work in favor of innocence until otherwise proven guilty. Tribal rule concerning the pack's secret was guilty until proven innocent. A secret this big reaching the surface of America would cause a cosmic sized clusterfuck. It had Seth imagining bible toting, cross bearing, crusaders. A little piece of Salem trials at the door front of their reservation. He saw his pack brothers as lab rats in mazes and acting in Pavlovian type experiments. And worst of all he saw no La Push.

"We're just going to talk with him and I'm sorry you have no say," he heard Jacob tell her after a minute. "I want you to stay here," And Bella didn't answer.

Jacob walked out of kitchen. Face set expressionless, head held high.

"Sam I want you to inform the chief." Sam nodded and after giving Emily a long look he headed out the door towards the Blacks'.

Jacob looked at Brady. "I want you to do your usual patrols tonight."

To Embry he said, "You and Seth will search the wooded area all over for more information." With his hand on the door, he looked at Seth, "I want a thorough search." And he left, on his way to question his girlfriend's father.

With no instructions given to them, the rest of the pack and imprints left. Brady and Embry were out the door already and Emily had gone to one of the backrooms to prepare it for Bella.

Seth walked into the kitchen finding Bella. He watched as she moved rearranging things. Her movements jerky and full of anger. He could always tell her mood just from what she was doing with her hands.

"Need something Seth?" she asked. She was putting away things into the cabinets. He cleared his throat and it sounded too loud inside the small kitchen. He was a little nervous around her.

She turned, eyes blazing. She could shoot fiery darts.

"Spit it out," she said crisply. Her glare hard at him. She was so angry. And he was sure that her anger was contagious 'cause he caught it. She turned back around and picked up a cup, as if to dismiss him.

He stalked towards her. Ready to spit words that could draw fist for hand to hand combat. He imagined things he would to say to her. But he lost his words and maybe the fight because of the bubble that took hold when they were inches from each other.

It's not like they've never hugged before. Or like he's never comforted her before. They touched all the time back then. But it is now different.

He removed a cup from her hand and discarded it onto the counter top. And he stood behind her. Her spine stiffened at his nearness. And being that close to her carries him away to that morning. And as if their thinking about the same thing, both began to breathe like there was a lack of oxygen inside the room.

"You don't believe me either, do you?" She breathed out. She searched his eyes through the kitchen window's reflection.

He can't say he does. Not with her same conviction, but he wanted to.

When he didn't answer, she laughed bitterly. His silence rich with words. She bowed her head finally breaking eye contact. And he hated it. The thought that she didn't like what she saw when she looked at him. And he hated that there was a possibility that Charlie had betrayed them.

He stepped closer to her and he brought his hands to either side of her, gripping the counter. And instinctively, she leaned into his touch. He watched her eyelashes flutter over her cheeks. And she sighed as her heartbeat quickened with his. Fluttering like a hummingbirds.

He was trying to remember if this undercurrent was always there. Trying to bring back to knowledge any signs she would have shown. But he was as blind to her as she was to him.

He looked down at the drumming of her pulse at the side of her neck. He remembered his lips there. How she tasted on him long after he left. And when he looked at the winter sky later that day, it resembled his feelings. The sun trying to push through the dank looking clouds. 'Cause even though she had pushed him away, she had kissed him back.

Bella moved her hands over his. He lifted his eyes to the window and caught her reflection. Underneath all the fear he saw the want.

"I was _so_ blind," he sighed out. His forehead fell to her shoulder and she gripped his hands tighter. But she didn't say anything.

He wanted to ask her how long. But before he could, he let go of a breath. He moved away from her and took the cup from the counter and moved to fix water.

Bella's breathing was going crazy. Out running her heartbeat and Seth hand shook as he brought the cup to his lips, looking at Emily paused at the door. She looked at Bella and then at her cousin and then back to Bella.

"Um, Bella, I finished the guest room. Are you…did…." Emily stuttered watching Bella. And there was this incredibly long, never-ending silence in the room. Bella looked down at the floor. Emily looked at Seth. And Seth watched her back.

"Bella's just driving me crazy," he said hoarsely. And Emily cocked an eyebrow at him. "About Charlie's questioning, I mean. She wants to know about the tribal rulings for outsiders."

"Oh. Well, Bella I can tell you that. Actually I did some research when I came to live here," Emily prattled. Leading Bella out the door of the kitchen. Bella looked over her shoulder at him. And they stared at each other until she was completely out the door.

When Seth heard them sit on the couch sifting through papers, he decided to leave. Bella mmhmm'd and ah'd encouraging Emily on as he rinsed out his cup. He felt their eyes on him as he walked out the door.

XXXX

It had turned into one of those nights where lightning flashed silently, abandoned by thunder. He and Embry sniffed trees, the ground and air. Not phased they look like barbarians. Like wild men. Sifting through the smell of earth. Trying to find the traces of human that might have been left behind by the rain. But all they got was the scent of earth, the delicate smell of the meld of mud, rain, grass and the cold.

They walked the ground. The earth dipping easily underneath their feet.

As they walked Seth's thoughts were on Bella. Hoping that they'd find something that would clear Charlie's name. He wanted Jacob to be wrong. And a tiny part of him hoped that Bella won't forgive Jacob. He has fantastical thoughts about her breaking up with his alpha. But it scared him to think that she wouldn't consider him even without Jacob between them.

But Seth wondered if Jacob made her feel like he made her feel. Like she was losing breath, because she felt she could finally breathe. He knew Jacob didn't. Seth felt the only reason she was with Jacob was because she was hiding from him. He felt as if he had been the catalyst to push her into Jacob's direction in the first place.

His thoughts were selfish, though. If Bella had heard them she'd tell him to don't be like that Seth. Don't be like those gossipy women. Don't point out other people's successes as if they are flaws. You know what that means, she'd ask. It means that you either don't measure up or at least you don't believe you do.

He traveled the length of the stream bordering the Cullen territory. All the way until the water opened up to a mouth. He surveyed the land that they've covered. And then he walked back towards the wooded area. And an uneasiness settled into his stomach. Like something niggling at the back of his mind. Adrenalin rushed throughout his veins. The epinephrine turned his blood to blistering degrees. Literally boiling beneath his skin.

He smelled nothing. Heard nothing. But a sixth sense only known to his wolf had him looking around. He looked through the cluster of trees. Pass to the rushing stream. Cocking his ear to the sky.

Nothing. But he stood erect throughout his back. Soft, unwarranted quivers ran through him.

"What is it?" Embry asked. Seth shrugged and he was still walking when there was suddenly solidity underneath his feet. The ground pushed back up at him in resistance. He stumped his feet and the sound was hallow.

He knelt down, clearing leaves from what seemed to be a board.

"What the hell is that?" Embry asked coming to kneel and help Seth.

"I don't know."

They worked quietly, the only sound was the swishing of the leaves and there soft panting.

Embry found a brass handle and lifted effortlessly to reveal what Seth believed was a dugout.

The smell that hit them was of earth and the scent from the Polaroid's.

"Holy shit," Embry said. Seth stuck his head into the earth. It was dark, but he didn't need the light. It wasn't a very big place. Room only enough for one person. There were shelves carved into the earth. Bottles of waters scattered in the corner. There was a small end table off inside another corner. It was mahogany and carved beautiful. It didn't fit inside the space of mud. Like it was taken from someone's beautiful home.

On top of the table was rusted kerosene lantern and old yellowed papers with writings. Seth climbed in using the ladder. He picked up the papers. He brought them to his face prepared to read it. But the writings weren't in English.

"What's it say?" Embry was still kneeling outside, the space too small for the two of them together.

"I don't know. It's Quileute." Seth had never learned. He could understand the oral speech. But he'd never learned to officially speak it. And he doubted Embry knew it since there was no father in his home to make him. But Jacob and Quil knew the language well enough. Billy as Chief wouldn't allow any of his children not to know. And Old Quil drilled it into his grandson's head, picking up the slack for his son.

Seth handed the papers to Embry and looked around some more. There was nothing else to see, really. And Seth was about climb out, when he saw the handle on the end table. He pulled it opened and inside was a bounded notebook with more writing. It looked like a journal. He flipped through and saw some of it was English and some was Quileute. Beside the journal was an envelope with _Warren's Photos_ on top. Seth carefully picked up both items and climbed the rickety ladder out.

He took the pictures out and handed half the stack to Embry. Together they went through and saw the faces of not only the pack, but also of the imprints and Bella. Embry cursed under his breath.

When Seth came to a picture of Jacob kissing Hannah against her car, Seth didn't even flinch. But Embry, who had stopped to look over Seth shoulder, did. He even let out a 'what the fuck'. And he looked at Seth in pity. But Seth had already known. Somewhat anyways.

"This could hurt Bella," Embry said.

"I know."

"Shouldn't we t—."

A gagging sound following a howl came through the trees. And Seth knew it wasn't good.

They placed the stuff they found underneath a large rock and leaves, and they ran towards the clearing where Brady had been patrolling.

They followed a trail, the smell of death. The wind whistled as the transformation took place. Their feet hit the earth, and they pushed with muddy paws. Sounding like galloping horses.

Seth reached the clearing a second before Embry. She had Brady pinned to the muddy earth. His head moved back and forward. Snarls and spittle flying through the air. His hind legs flailed aimlessly. Fruitlessly trying to make purchase on the lower half of the vampire just enough to kick it away.

Seth could feel as the vampire dug her fingers into the shoulders of Brady's wolf. Skin and fur, peeling and curling, as blood darkened the fur. The vampire hissed as the blood coated its fingers.

Brady's wolf's head flailed in agony. Teeth snapping at her neck sounded like a gunshots. Brady did it again and he made purchase at her shoulder. And the silvery clear liquid dribbled down her arm into her fingertips and into his wounds. Like quicksilver.

The wolves together let out a cry of agony. Seth and Embry became slight disoriented from the pain.

But with gained composure, Seth ran towards them at his fullest speed. The wet earth dipping where ever his paws made contact. Mud flying behind him. His lungs burned from the cold air. Tears peeled from the corners of his eyes from the knifing wind, drawing like fingers through his fur.

He was arrested by the greed to kill.

Focused.

So focused, he didn't register Embry's plea to wait. She swiped her arm out. Fingers coated with venom, scratching Seth above his eye. Blood trickled down over his fur and into his eye. And his paws dug into the soft earth as he was pushed backwards, slowing down his momentum. He didn't cry out. But hissed at the discomfort. And he and Embry both charged her together.

Embry dislodged it off of Brady, and Seth stood in front of his pack mate protectively. Guarding Brady as he watched Embry push her face first into the ground. Peeling back earth through the plunge. Steam rose from the warm earth beneath. Embry's teeth sunk through the non-injured shoulder. Dislodging skin and bone.

The vampire screamed into the ground. Gurgle sounded choking, mouth full of mud and earth. Embry threw the arm to the side. The wolves watched in a daze as it folded at the elbow and slowly curled in on itself like a spider.

And for a moment Embry was distracted. The vampire kicked the wolf from its back. She ran towards the meadow where Bella had nearly been killed. And Seth and Embry were after her.

They dodged trees through the woods. Going at blindingly uncomprehending speeds. The wolves not willing to be out run. And when they gained on her she stopped mid-run. Seth and Embry instinctively jumped over her. But her fingers took hold to Embry's fur. And Embry's half growl, half whine rang in Seth's ears. And Seth felt as if someone had tried to dig out his heart. When she ran back into the another direction, there was a trail of gray fur dark tinted with blood in her wake.

Seth was right behind it, chasing it further into the woods, between trees. Losing her by the second, until she was out of sight. But he followed her smell until he was gaining on her again. But when he set his eyes her she had stopped, looking at the unlikely image before her.

* * *

><p><strong>I apologize for the slow pacing <em>and <em>the delay. I had this written since last week, but I had to edit it. And the writing of another fic I'm currently working on kind of clashed with this one. They sound a bit different. **

**I do read the reviews and I appreciate them. And I probably like them more than I should. I never really know what to say except thank you. I'll try my best to answer through these author notes.**

**Thank you guys so much for reading!**


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